ABYSS

“When my weight started to plummet, I picked up a pocketful of large smooth rocks from the beach near where I lived … I was determined to not die from cancer. Even if it meant putting rocks in my pockets to make up for the weight lost, and never reducing the chemotherapy keeping my cancer under control.”

“Facing death, I dwelt in a state of almost total mindfulness. Cancer had been like a Zen master’s slap on the face, a call to wake up. The alertness led to inner calm and a desire to eliminate all nonessentials. All visages of impatience, anger, and busyness melted from my body and soul. Illness was a cleansing experience. I discovered in that instant that life is too short for negative feelings, whether God has granted us years or months.”

“Regardless of what was happening inside, if I could get outside and walk, I felt better, and I didn’t feel sick.”

“Cancer treatment is often a tortuous decision for patient and doctor. Like Alice In Wonderland, one must choose a door to walk through, not knowing where it will lead.”

“I knew in order to survive, I had to help my doctors believe they could save me.”

“I decided that no matter what cancer did to me, I would move. Always. No matter what. Until my last breath, I would move.”

“But God is mystery. Life is mystery. And even with all our scientific knowledge, cancer is still 99 percent mystery.”

“As we confront death, we reflect on the journey of our life and what has been gained, lost, and remains; of those who have come before us; of what we will leave behind.”

 

EXCERPTS: (click to view)

Ecclesiastes - Page 11